Our lives are full of memories. They are the repositories of the experiences we have had. We could not function in this world without them. They keep us from burning our finger on the stove. They bring to the forefront the joy and love that we have for others. Without them it would be impossible to ascribe meaning to the events of our lives. Memories are the foundation for our interaction with the outer world.
I would pose that we all have memories from our past that still have a charge of pain and regret around them. Experiences perceived through a mind encumbered by expectations, judgments, hatred and prejudice can color those memories. They will surface into consciousness unexpectedly, to give us a little twinge of pain, or pull us down into a dark place. In extreme cases, producing an overwhelming depression from regret and self-hatred. And with luck, we are able to stuff them back into the recesses of our minds, with the hope that they never emerge again. Maybe we have gotten rid of them once and for all. But that’s not usually the case, as they may be firmly lodged in our subconscious.
One of the perplexing aspects of these attacks is that the emotional response we feel internally does not seem to be dependent on the “scale” of the original event. A seemingly minor event can have as much impact as a major event. It does not seem as though the mind can recognize any difference. They can be equally fed by the emotional feeling of pain associated with the event. If the original minor event is brought into consciousness often, the associated pain and remorse or hatred is added to the energy field existent around it. Eckhart Tolle’s description of the pain body and its ability to reinforce itself with just such feelings, indicates how we can work against ourselves.
I have had one such memory experience that happened as a young adult. It was merely a word usage in a situation. At the time, I did not know the actual meaning. So thinking it sounded cool, and not the insult that it was, I said it. And with the circumstances at hand, I was not able to realize nor address and apologize for my ignorance.
This was not in any way an earth shattering event. But more of a feeling of guilt and remorse for not knowing how it might have affected this person. There was always the unresolved question of what happened later. That question would grow in my mind and reinforce the pain associated with the event.
I have written about the concept of a trajectory. That events, especially important life events are not random occurrences. Creation is synchronized beyond imagination. There is a reason, a connection for everything that occurs.
This is why the concept of acceptance is so important. We may not necessarily like a particular outcome or experience, but with a broader perspective on its origin, our origin, comes a sense of freedom. A deeply felt state of acceptance, removes the event from the mind, from the egoic mind, from the pain body. As these are the filters that have been put in place that can keep us subservient to the perceived memory.
Acceptance inevitably leads to forgiveness. Especially compassion and forgiveness toward ourselves. This is the recognition that we are able to forgive ourselves. But that still can be difficult to do. For if it stays just in the mind, as a thought – thoughts can come and go. They do not necessarily connect with the subconscious, which is the true repository of the memory.
Which brings me to one other point I would like to make concerning the accumulation of events in our lives. If events are not random, and exists as a connection to the whole, there is a reason for them, for us. The implication is that they become a pertinent building block of who we are. And not just what we assume are positive experiences. What we term as the negative experience, the difficult ones, the painful ones all have their place. We can experience them merely as the pain that they were, or the monsters that they have metastasized into within our minds. But with recognition and acceptance, we are able to give them a new meaning. We can take them out of the shadows and illuminate them as an important aspect of our growth and as part of what makes us who we have become. I am “the me” that has developed from these experiences. It is the old adage of learning more from our mistakes and failures than from success.
It is taking the individual experience which produced the pain, as a standalone memory, and placing it in a broader context. The totality of our lives. The acceptance of the fact that we don’t always live up to some sort of preconceived notion that our minds are telling us. Which may in fact be an old program we are running that was “stolen” from someone else. This is not to say we have no inner guidance or personal conscience. Only that at times we may fail to listen to it, or that the original emotional producing experience was necessary and had a validity at the time. If those old memories sneak back in from time to time, they too must have a reason to do so. Perhaps they have more to communicate. Perhaps there is a deeper reason lurking in our subconscious, or even from a previous incarnation.
Granted, such observations require strength to persevere in the face of immediate pain. Depression and the pain body can be formidable. These can be difficult to access, but not impossible. A technique called the Emotion Code can be effective in releasing these trapped emotions from our subconscious. Once we start getting below the surface of our everyday mind, the scope and complexity we discover is immense. Beyond what we can remember with our mind lies a vast repository of events, emotions and untold numbers of connections within consciousness. In themselves events which generate memories are only activated when we apply meaning to them. There is an association that takes place. And there we may label them as positive, neutral, or negative, with each of these having different degrees of intensity. This happens within the mind, the body mind and the egoic mind. But when we step outside these mind aspects and move into a place of acceptance, forgiveness, compassion and love, we transcend the bondage certain memories they generate. We have the tools of perspective, the vantage point of an expanded consciousness transitioning beyond the limitations of this dimension. Where we can see the unity and interconnectedness of all that is. And the importance of all aspects of our life – including the “positive and negative”.
A.S. 8/14/22
